November 10, 2008 by Bento
We at California Healthy Marriages Coalition (CHMC) are delighted to host and operate this weblog (blog) entitled “MML Skills in California”.
Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML), co-authored by Dr. Bernard G. Guerney, Jr., and Mary Ortwein, M.S., is a version of Relationship Enhancement first developed by Dr. Guerney in the 1960s. RE/MML teaches 10 key couple communication skills helping couples to speak and listen to each other with greater care and empathy to enhance their relationship and to successfully address and solve problems. Click here to see a 1-page: Summary Sheet of the 10 MML Skills
(To see a listing of MML classes and leader trainings in your area, go to www.camarriage.com. For more on MML, visit www.skillswork.org).This blog is designed to be a resource for dialogue, instruction, guidance, and discussion on all things MML in California! We’re here to serve YOU in your MML needs!
Find CATEGORIES at the bottom of this page to help you find the blog posts and information that will help you the most!
Click the various tabs and links — explore this site! Post messages, ask questions, and share insights and inspirations of your experiences using the MML skills in your life, and if you’re an MML facilitator, of the power of teaching the MML skills to others.
Again, thanks for logging in to our blog! Visit MMLSkills.com often!!
Bento Leal, Blogmaster for “MML Skills in California”, Certified MML Trainer, and MML Implementation Specialist for the California Healthy Marriages Coalition
MML Graduation Class
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized | Tagged Facilitators, General, MML, Participants, Trainers | 6 Comments »
Happy New Year to you, your couple, and family! It’s a Brand New Year – a great opportunity for a Fresh Start in all your relationships.
Here are a few “Time for Us Ideas” to consider doing with your spouse as part of your New Year’s Resolutions:
- Weekly Date – set aside a time each week to “date.” Stay home with a movie or go out. Take a walk of talk over a cup of tea or coffee.
- Talk Time – set aside a time each day to talk about the day and Show Understanding (listen empathically) to each other.
- Greeting Rituals – make a point to greet each other when you come home, and say goodbye when you leave.
Try 1 or more of them! These simple acts of love can make a world of difference in your marriage or relationship. Have a wonderful year!
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December 17, 2009 by Bento
Have you had a burning issue on your mind and suddenly started talking to your spouse about it only to find that they weren’t ready to hear it and you felt even more frustrated, perhaps angry at their unwillingness to listen to you right then and there? Here’s some key advice: Discussions with your spouse work better when you both agree to have them. Then each of you can be ready, instead of being caught off guard. You can think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. Try to find a time and place to talk without interruptions. If you have small children, you may want to find a baby-sitter. When both of you are ready to discuss, and do so with speaking and listening skills, you have a better chance of the discussion, even on a problem issue, going well.
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October 30, 2009 by Bento
How many conversations have you had where both people want to talk and be heard at the same time? Each is speaking, and neither is listening. Pretty confusing and frustrating, isn’t it? Discussion Skill helps to remedy that.
The goal of Discussion Skill is to set up a pattern of taking turns that lets each of you say everything you want to say while your partner Shows Understanding (listens with empathy) to what you’re saying and the underlying feelings behind your words. As you do this you learn from each other. The conversation steadily moves you to a new place where you are ready to solve the problem. This is accomplished as you take turns Expressing Yourself and Showing Understanding. Only one of you can Express Yourself at a time. The other person Shows Understanding.
Practice taking turns, while respectfully expressing and listening to each other, and be surprised at how much more constructive and fulfilling your conversations will be! Try it!
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers | Tagged Communication Skills | Leave a Comment »
September 1, 2009 by Bento
Think before you speak. This sounds obvious, right? But how many times 
have you spoken to someone without really thinking through the consequences of saying those words? Especially if you’re angry or agitated — taking time to calm down, gather your thoughts, and choosing your words well will go a long way to helping your conversation start off successfully. Then, perhaps the person will be interested to hear what you have to say! “If you blurt, you can hurt!” Indeed, take time to think about what you want to say.
Posted in For Facilitators, For Participants | Tagged Expression Skill | Leave a Comment »
Click on the “Coaches” tab at the top of this home page to find out more!
Posted in For Coaches | Tagged For Coaches, Skills Coaching | 1 Comment »
Aaahh — it’s springtime! The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the flowers start to bloom. It’s a great time for planting tomatoes and other veggies, watering and fertilizing them, and watching them grow throughout the year.
How about tending your Marriage Garden? It needs water and fertilizer too! The 10 MML Skills help strengthen a marriage from the head down and the roots 
up. Skilled dialogue between husband and wife creates a mutual understanding and bond that mirrors the beauty of a spring garden! Discover the joys that come from skilled communication — Learn and practice the MML skills everyday and watch your marriage grow!
For a list of MML classes scheduled in California, go to www.CaMarriage.com, and click on “classes & trainings”.
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers | Tagged MML, skilled communication | 1 Comment »
December 30, 2008 by Bento
What better way to Make a Great Start to the New Year than to attend a Marriage Education Class as a couple! Seize the Moment! Attend a Marriage 
Education Class in your area! To locate a class near you, go to www.CaMarriage.com and click on “classes & trainings”. Improving and strengthening your communication skills — what a great way to launch the new year!
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers | Tagged Communication Skills, Marriage Education | Leave a Comment »
December 15, 2008 by Bento
Skills Coaches are imperative to move couples from learning ABOUT the MML Skills to learning to LIVE OUT the MML Skills.
While the entire blog is dedicated to all things MML in California, this page is exclusively dedicated to resources, links and posts on the topic of Skills Coaching.
NEW RESOURCE! Click here: Guide to Phone Skills Coaching Using MML Skills is a comprehensive resource that provides tools and tips to set your Skills Coaching up for success!
For more resources, click on the “Skills Coaching” tab at the top of this home page.
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Trainers | Tagged Guide, MML, Skills Coaching by Phone | Leave a Comment »
December 11, 2008 by Bento
Here’s what Barack Obama wrote in 2006. Hopefully, he’ll promote Marriage Education during his presidency:
…Finally, preliminary research shows that marriage education workshops can make a real difference in helping married couples stay together and in encouraging unmarried couples who are living together to form a more lasting bond. Expanding access to such services to low income couples, perhaps in concert with job training and placement, medical coverage, and other services already available, should be something everybody can agree on.”
From his book, Audacity of Hope, 2006, p. 334
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November 26, 2008 by Bento
Click on the “demo-call” link below to hear an audio sample of an MML Skills Coaching by Phone session (13 minutes). You will hear a couple having a dialogue on a topic of their choosing with a coach by phone helping the couple stay in skill during their dialogue. Then please enter your comments of how you think the session went. If you have any questions of this kind of skills coaching by phone, please contact Don or Alex(andra) Flecky at don@camarriage.com or alex@camarriage.com. Thanks!
Click here: demo-call-by-bento-and-don-and-alex-13-min
Several couples have reported that these coaching calls by phone helped them to REALLY understand and use the skills and quite literally “bring the skills home.”
Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »
