1. Weekly Date – set aside a time each week to “date.” Stay home with a movie or go out. Take a walk of talk over a cup of tea or coffee.
2. Talk Time – set aside a time each day to talk about the day and Show Understanding (listen empathically) to each other.
3. Greeting Rituals – make a point to greet each other when you come home, and say goodbye when you leave.

Try 1 or more of them! These simple acts of love can make a world of difference in your marriage or relationship. 

Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML), co-authored by Dr. Bernard G. Guerney, Jr., and Mary Ortwein, M.S., is a version of Relationship Enhancement first developed by Dr. Guerney in the 1960s. RE/MML teaches 10 key couple communication skills helping couples to speak and listen to each other with greater care and empathy to enhance their relationship and to successfully address and solve problems.  Click here to see a 1-page: Summary Sheet of the 10 MML Skills

(To see a listing of MML classes and leader trainings in your area, go to www.relationshipsca.org. For more on MML, visit www.skillswork.org).This blog is designed to be a resource for dialogue, instruction, guidance, and discussion on all things MML in California! We’re here to serve YOU in your MML needs!

Find CATEGORIES at the bottom of this page to help you find the blog posts and information that will help you the most!

Click the various tabs and links — explore this site! Post messages, ask questions, and share insights and inspirations of your experiences using the MML skills in your life, and if you’re an MML facilitator, of the power of teaching the MML skills to others.Again, thanks for logging in to our blog! Visit MMLSkills.com often!!

Bento Leal, Blogmaster for “MML Skills in California”, Certified MML Trainer, and MML Implementation Specialist for Healthy Relationships California

MML Graduation Class

Dr. Barry Ginsberg says, “Empathic listening/responding is the core skill. When couples practice this over time, they begin naturally to tune into their partners feelings before they even begin to think about their own perspective. It has a way of undermining our usual and typical non-conscious quick defensive responding. If we really grasp the underlying feeling motivations, no matter the subject, it would be hard to respond defensively. I think that it’s best to listen to the underlying feeling more than what it’s about.”

Here’s what Barack Obama wrote in 2006. Hopefully, he’ll promote Marriage Education during his presidency:

…Finally, preliminary research shows that marriage education workshops can make a real difference in helping married couples stay together and in encouraging unmarried couples who are living together to form a more lasting bond.  Expanding access to such services to low income couples, perhaps in concert with job training and placement, medical coverage, and other services already available, should be something everybody can agree on.”                                                 

From his book, Audacity of Hope, 2006, p. 334

Click here: demo-call-by-bento-and-don-and-alex-13-min

Several couples have reported that these coaching calls by phone helped them to REALLY understand and use the skills and quite literally “bring the skills home.”

Listen in a way that shows strong interest.

• Put your own thoughts and feelings on hold.
• Pay close attention to what your partner is saying through words and body language.
• Show with your body that you want to hear what your partner says.
• Listen with an open mind and an open heart.

This is the first skill of MML and actually the foundation of effective communication. The skill of empathy is listening keenly, with a focused heart and mind, on the words that the other person is saying to you. But it is more than that. It is listening for the feelings underneath the words–especially those that are unexpressed–for that is the place from which the words came. If we listen for feelings, and not simply for the words that were spoken, then we have a greater likelihood of understanding what our partner–the other person–is really trying to communicate, express, and the more deeply we can empathize with them. Indeed, listening with such empathy is truly an act of love — and the person being listened to feels it.

• Have you listened to someone with such empathy — if so, what was that like?
• Can you recall someone listening to you with such empathy — if so, what did that feel like to you?
• Please post your comments here! (Click on the word “Comments” underneath this article).

Ron McLain teaching MML in Fresno

Healthy Marriage Coalition of Fresno-Madera Counties is conducting Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML) classes throughout the two-county area.  Click on this link: YouTube video for a six-minute video clip that showcases the powerful new realities couples experience in their relationship.

Don’t live in Fresno or Madera counties? Don’t worry. MML classes are taking place throughout California! Find a class near you at http://www.camarriage.com/!