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Archive for the ‘For Participants’ Category

Welcome to our MML Blog!!

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on April 27, 2013 | 6 Comments »

We at Healthy Relationships California (HRC) are delighted to host and operate this weblog (blog) entitled “MML Skills in California”.

Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML), co-authored by Dr. Bernard G. Guerney, Jr., and Mary Ortwein, M.S., is a version of Relationship Enhancement first developed by Dr. Guerney in the 1960s. RE/MML teaches 10 key couple communication skills helping couples to speak and listen to each other with greater care and empathy to enhance their relationship and to successfully address and solve problems.  Click here to see a 1-page: Summary Sheet of the 10 MML Skills

(To see a listing of MML classes and leader trainings in your area, go to http://www.relationshipsca.org. For more on MML, visit www.skillswork.org).This blog is designed to be a resource for dialogue, instruction, guidance, and discussion on all things MML in California! We’re here to serve YOU in your MML needs!

Find CATEGORIES at the bottom of this page to help you find the blog posts and information that will help you the most!

Click the various tabs and links — explore this site! Post messages, ask questions, and share insights and inspirations of your experiences using the MML skills in your life, and if you’re an MML facilitator, of the power of teaching the MML skills to others.Again, thanks for logging in to our blog! Visit MMLSkills.com often!!

Bento Leal, Blogmaster for “MML Skills in California”, Certified MML Trainer, and MML Implementation Specialist for Healthy Relationships California

MML Graduation Class

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Discussion Skill – Pattern of Taking Turns

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, tagged on October 30, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

How many conversations have you had where both people want to talk and be heard at the same time? Each is speaking, and neither is listening. Pretty confusing and frustrating, isn’t it? Discussion Skill helps to remedy that.

Happy CoupleThe goal of Discussion Skill is to set up a pattern of taking turns that lets each of you say everything you want to say while your partner Shows Understanding (listens with empathy) to what you’re saying and the underlying feelings behind your words. As you do this you learn from each other. The conversation steadily moves you to a new place where you are ready to solve the problem. This is accomplished as you take turns Expressing Yourself and Showing Understanding. Only one of you can Express Yourself at a time. The other person Shows Understanding.

Practice taking turns, while respectfully expressing and listening to each other, and be surprised at how much more constructive and fulfilling your conversations will be! Try it!

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Expression Skill – what’s the first step?

Posted in For Facilitators, For Participants, tagged on September 1, 2009 | Leave a Comment »

Think before you speak.  This sounds obvious, right? But how many times Flowers at Alameda Co. Fair, 2009-07-08 010have you spoken to someone without really thinking through the consequences of saying those words? Especially if you’re angry or agitated — taking time to calm down, gather your thoughts, and choosing your words well will go a long way to helping your conversation start off successfully. Then, perhaps the person will be interested to hear what you have to say!  “If you blurt, you can hurt!” Indeed, take time to think about what you want to say.

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Tending Your Marriage Garden

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, tagged , on March 25, 2009 | 1 Comment »

California PoppiesAaahh — it’s springtime!  The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and the flowers start to bloom. It’s a great time for planting tomatoes and other veggies, watering and fertilizing them, and watching them grow throughout the year.

How about tending your Marriage Garden? It needs water and fertilizer too! The 10 MML Skills help strengthen a marriage from the head down and the roots j0438443up. Skilled dialogue between husband and wife creates a mutual understanding and bond that mirrors the beauty of a spring garden! Discover the joys that come from skilled communication — Learn and practice the MML skills everyday and watch your marriage grow!

For a list of MML classes scheduled in California, go to www.CaMarriage.com, and click on “classes & trainings”.

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Strengthen Your Marriage in 2009 – Attend a Marriage Education Class!

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, tagged , on December 30, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

FireworksWhat better way to Make a Great Start to the New Year than to attend a Marriage Education Class as a couple!  Seize the Moment!  Attend a Marriage CB016381Education Class in your area!  To locate a class near you, go to www.CaMarriage.com and click on “classes & trainings”.  Improving and strengthening your communication skills — what a great way to launch the new year!

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LISTEN to this Audio Sample of MML Skills Coaching by Phone

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized on November 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

Click on the “demo-call” link below to hear an audio sample of an MML Skills Coaching by Phone session (13 minutes). You will hear a couple having a dialogue on a topic of their choosing with a coach by phone helping the couple stay in skill during their dialogue. Then please enter your comments of how you think the session went. If you have any questions of this kind of skills coaching by phone, please contact Don or Alex(andra) Flecky at don@camarriage.com or alex@camarriage.com. Thanks!

Click here: demo-call-by-bento-and-don-and-alex-13-min

Several couples have reported that these coaching calls by phone helped them to REALLY understand and use the skills and quite literally “bring the skills home.”

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Listening with Deep Empathy – Doorway to the Heart

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized, tagged on November 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Showing Understanding Skill says,

Listen in a way that shows strong interest. j04389392

  • Put your own thoughts and feelings on hold.
  • Pay close attention to what your partner is saying through words and body language.
  • Show with your body that you want to hear what your partner says.
  • Listen with an open mind and an open heart.

This is the first skill of MML and actually the foundation of effective communication. The skill of empathy is listening keenly, with a focused heart and mind, on the words that the other person is saying to you. But it is more than that. It is listening for the feelings underneath the words–especially those that are unexpressed–for that is the place from which the words came. If we listen for feelings, and not simply for the words that were spoken, then we have a greater likelihood of understanding what our partner–the other person–is really trying to communicate, express, and the more deeply we can empathize with them. Indeed, listening with such empathy is truly an act of love — and the person being listened to feels it.

  • Have you listened to someone with such empathy — if so, what was that like?
  • Can you recall someone listening to you with such empathy — if so, what did that feel like to you?
  • Please post your comments here! (Click on the word “Comments” underneath this article).

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WATCH this Short YouTube Video Clip Spotlighting Mastering the Mysteries of Love … in Fresno and throughout California

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized, tagged , , , on November 12, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Ron McLain teaching MML in Fresno

Ron McLain teaching MML in Fresno

Healthy Marriage Coalition of Fresno-Madera Counties is conducting Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML) classes throughout the two-county area.  Click on this link: YouTube video for a six-minute video clip that showcases the powerful new realities couples experience in their relationship.

Don’t live in Fresno or Madera counties? Don’t worry. MML classes are taking place throughout California! Find a class near you at http://www.camarriage.com/!

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