Empathic Listening is listening in such a sincere and focused way that you put yourself in the other person’s shoes, try to understand what they’re saying from their point of view, feeling their feelings. You forget about yourself and are focused totally on them. In MML, this is called “Showing Understanding Skill.” Learn it and practice it daily to improve your marriage and all your relationships — and even more fundamentally, IMPROVE YOURSELF while practicing it!
Dr. Barry Ginsberg says, “Empathic listening/responding is the core skill. When couples practice this over time, they begin naturally to tune into their partners feelings before they even begin to think about their own perspective. It has a way of undermining our usual and typical non-conscious quick defensive responding. If we really grasp the underlying feeling motivations, no matter the subject, it would be hard to respond defensively. I think that it’s best to listen to the underlying feeling more than what it’s about.”