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Archive for November, 2008

LISTEN to this Audio Sample of MML Skills Coaching by Phone

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized on November 26, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

Click on the “demo-call” link below to hear an audio sample of an MML Skills Coaching by Phone session (13 minutes). You will hear a couple having a dialogue on a topic of their choosing with a coach by phone helping the couple stay in skill during their dialogue. Then please enter your comments of how you think the session went. If you have any questions of this kind of skills coaching by phone, please contact Don or Alex(andra) Flecky at don@camarriage.com or alex@camarriage.com. Thanks!

Click here: demo-call-by-bento-and-don-and-alex-13-min

Several couples have reported that these coaching calls by phone helped them to REALLY understand and use the skills and quite literally “bring the skills home.”

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Listening with Deep Empathy – Doorway to the Heart

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized, tagged on November 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Showing Understanding Skill says,

Listen in a way that shows strong interest. j04389392

  • Put your own thoughts and feelings on hold.
  • Pay close attention to what your partner is saying through words and body language.
  • Show with your body that you want to hear what your partner says.
  • Listen with an open mind and an open heart.

This is the first skill of MML and actually the foundation of effective communication. The skill of empathy is listening keenly, with a focused heart and mind, on the words that the other person is saying to you. But it is more than that. It is listening for the feelings underneath the words–especially those that are unexpressed–for that is the place from which the words came. If we listen for feelings, and not simply for the words that were spoken, then we have a greater likelihood of understanding what our partner–the other person–is really trying to communicate, express, and the more deeply we can empathize with them. Indeed, listening with such empathy is truly an act of love — and the person being listened to feels it.

  • Have you listened to someone with such empathy — if so, what was that like?
  • Can you recall someone listening to you with such empathy — if so, what did that feel like to you?
  • Please post your comments here! (Click on the word “Comments” underneath this article).

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WATCH this Short YouTube Video Clip Spotlighting Mastering the Mysteries of Love … in Fresno and throughout California

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Participants, For Trainers, Uncategorized, tagged , , , on November 12, 2008 | 1 Comment »

Ron McLain teaching MML in Fresno

Ron McLain teaching MML in Fresno

Healthy Marriage Coalition of Fresno-Madera Counties is conducting Mastering the Mysteries of Love (MML) classes throughout the two-county area.  Click on this link: YouTube video for a six-minute video clip that showcases the powerful new realities couples experience in their relationship.

Don’t live in Fresno or Madera counties? Don’t worry. MML classes are taking place throughout California! Find a class near you at http://www.camarriage.com/!

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List or Find MML Classes at CaMarriage.com

Posted in For Coaches, For Facilitators, For Trainers, tagged , , , on November 12, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

42-16610954CaMarriage.com is a clearinghouse of Marriage Education (ME) and Relationship Skills Training (RST) classes and programs taking place throughout California.
There is something for everyone, at any and all stages of relationships.

>> Youth & Singles
>> Seriously Dating & Engaged
>> Newly Married & Expectant/New Parents
>> General Marriage Enrichment
>> Distressed Marriages
>> Step Family & Empty Nesters


Whether you’re looking for short courses, weekend retreats, weekly programs, or something else – you are bound to find it at CaMarriage.com. New classes and programs are added daily!

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Coaches Help Couples Use MML Skills!

Posted in For Coaches, tagged , , on November 11, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

Coaching a couple's dialogue in Corona, CA

Coaching a couple

Coaches — both in MML classes and over the phone — help couples practice the MML skills properly in their dialogues.

As in sports or any undertaking where skills are involved, a good coach can help the person stay in skill and avoid drifting into unskilled, ineffective patterns.

If you’ve been through an MML Class and experienced its benefits in your own life and relationships, then volunteer to be an MML Skills Coach to help others do the same — Coach at an MML class near you! You’ll probably get more out of it than anybody! (For a listing of MML classes in California, go to www.camarriage.comand click on “classes & trainings”, or contact your local marriage coalition and offer to help as an MML skills coach).

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MML Facilitators Making A Difference!

Posted in For Facilitators, For Trainers, tagged , , on November 11, 2008 | Leave a Comment »

mml-lc-training-with-mary-2007-06-23-115bTeaching the MML Skills to couples is one of the most rewarding things you can do – you see the “lights go on” in the couples’ eyes as they realize the keypoints of empathic listening or how to express their thoughts and feelings effectively. And when they use the skills in their practice dialogues, you can see the walls of the heart melt and genuine and fulfilling conversation occur. It’s exciting to watch couples take a happy marriage to an even higher level, and to see a struggling couple find new hope in their relationship!

My encouragement to MML Facilitators is: Teach an MML Class! Teach a class in your church, or if you’re new to it and a little bit uncertain, then teach the skills to 1 or 2 couples whom you know. My first class was in the living room of a couple who are long-time friends of my wife and I – for several Thursday evenings we’d sit in their living room and go over the skills — I got the “teaching” practice and they learned the skills!  It was a great combo — and guess what? That couple got so inspired with the skills that they became MML Facilitators themselves and have been teaching the skills to others the past 2 years!

So Take The Leap and Teach an MML Class — and then post your experience at this blog. We’d love to read about it!!

Bento Leal, MML Certified Trainer

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